We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
