Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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