OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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