I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
