Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
