Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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