I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
