Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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