lets start a swedish sibling band together
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
