Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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