She's JV to your varsity
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
