A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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