my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
