I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm both gender and math confused
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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