They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
