the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
