I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
