I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize