its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
