if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
