i would punch a child for taco bell
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
