I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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