I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize