I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
