I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
