he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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