Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
