You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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