I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize