You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
