I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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