new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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