i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am one with the molecules
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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