a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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