All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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