I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize