There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
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So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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