He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We got so high we made milksteak
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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