writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You're like the curious george of whores
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
