Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
