the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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