so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
