All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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