drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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