as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
