Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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