I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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