I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
