But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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