Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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