Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Watching her eat just hurts me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
