We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
