If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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