I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
