The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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