Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize