the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
