I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
