Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
