I wanna bring you to show and tell
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
