Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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