He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
